Never Eat This Before Heading to “The Bedroom”

It’s a little odd that more people don’t think about the affect exercise has on their sex life. Given the fact that most of us got interested in getting more fit because we wanted to look less repugnant and be more attractive.

With that in mind, I believe it’s important to look at some considerations to which pre-sex meals you should avoid to guarantee your performance in the sack is great. So here are a few foods you should definitely AVOID before getting down and dirty:

1. The “Brimstone” Vegetable

Never eat asparagus before going at it. Its consumption leads to S-methyl thioesters and methanethiol, two sulfurous compounds that will find their way into your urine in just 15 minutes.

The internet is filled with stories about how eating asparagus before sex leads to bad smelling and/or tasting spunk. While it’s possible for these chemicals to leech into your prostate fluid, I suspect it could be after eating asparagus for days rather than during one meal. But still, it’s best to not take chances.

2. Alcohol, and what to drink instead

It’s difficult for most people to have sex without drinking alcohol first. The alcohol eases inhibitions and sets the stage for good sex. But then there’s a price: impaired sensation and impaired performance.

Alcohol can give you weak erections and it often ruins orgasm, especially in men. I suspect that many cases of erectile dysfunction are just “whiskey dick.”

Of course, alcohol might also help with any premature ejaculation problems, but not being able to finish is a frustrating issue.

If consuming alcohol is what you do before sex, try to limit yourself to one or two beers. Or go for pre-sex weed instead. Marijuana has vasodilatory properties, which means it could actually enhance your erections and, like alcohol, it turns down inhibitions.

3. Avoid All Carbohydrate Sides, Except for This One

Almost all carbohydrate sides (like pasta, potatoes, etc.) produce gas as they are broken down. This does not lead to good sex. Gritting your teeth and clenching your sphincter won’t lead to anything pleasant.

The only “safe” carb choice here is white rice, as it does not give off gas as it is broken down. Go for white because brown rice has high-fiber which does lead to gas.

So Which Foods Are Good Before Sex?

The best pre-sex meal is the one a weight lifter might eat when he’s preparing for a contest:

  • Baked or broiled fish, or chicken breast
  • White rice.
  • Spinach.

It’s boring, but hopefully the great sex that comes after will make up for it.


Author: Blake Ambrose

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